Sometimes, we just need to have fun. So (by request, actually), here’s the latest blog post from Tigger, my Greater Swiss Mountain Dog. Enjoy:)
Hey litter mates, have I got a new scoop for You! Really~! These things are incredible. And, it happened by accident…
I haven’t had much milk since I left home. While I loved what was Mom did for us 15 at the time, it just—simply—cannot compare to what they’ve got here at the Pedersens! And, ya know, I guess it’s not a big secret either. YOU can get in on the deal.
At least once a week, JT or Kimberly go to the store and bring home 5 white jugs. No big deal. They go in the back of the truck, on to the counter in the kitchen, then into the fridge. They keep drinking this stuff like it’s Kool-Aid around here.
I’d caught a whiff once or twice…smells different than what Truly (Mom) made for us…so I wasn’t really sure.
When the white jugs are emptied, they get set on the floor by the trash can. I’m not supposed to be ‘looking’ at the trash can, but I’m sure you’ve got one or two. Anyway, I decided to check one of the jugs out…that’s what they keep calling them.
They scoot around the floor really easy. Shucks, I’ve knocked them clean across the ROOM a couple of times, playing with my sister Nala. Yesterday, don’t know why, decided to take a closer look at one. There wasn’t anything else to do, so…
It really struck me like a great big pop bottle or water bottle. I like chewing the tops off if I’m left alone long enough.
Well, Guess What!?!? I got the cap off this one and it still had a few drops left in it. It’s got MILK in it! I mean, really, milk! It’s incredible. Here I am, miles from Mom, and these guys are buying milk, by, like, the G A L L O N S every week! Just incredible. Feel like such a puppy.
Turns out there’s a snowflake’s chance in you-know-where that I’ll ever get to have any M I L K. Crimminees. They want to keep it all to themselves. Kimberly was saying something about constipation and JT didn’t agree, but either way they did both agree, “No milk for Tigger!”
What a crock. Really [turns out, they even have ‘those’ (crocks) here too].
But, that’s not where the story ends. It’s where it only just begins:).
What I’ve found, is that chewing on milk jugs is Great! I LOVE it! The plastic is a strange sort of soft, comfortable to chew on, yet hard to ‘rip’ like the chunks Nala tears out of her Nyla bones. JT’s been watching me carry my new Best Friend Forever (well, after him, of course) all around the house today. Love this thing. Makes a bunch of noise, that’s Noise, with a capital ‘N’, by the way.
Turns out, the TV commercials we see (yes, I’m a dog potato) are missing a word. It’s not “Got Milk?” Its “Got milk JUG?”
Get your owners to take you to the nearest food store, any food store, they all sell MILK, and see if you can get ’em to get you a jug. Just pour the milk down the drain, they won’t let you have it anyway, and then Start Chewing!
(JT’s just sitting at his desk. I think he’s a computer potato.)